Blood, Cones, Sex, Halloween Magic

Are you laughing?

Still fussing over what to be for Halloween? Allow me to assist.

It’s common knowledge that a good Halloween costume must be one or more of the following:

1. Scary
2. Funny
3. Sexy

So, I’ve compiled some car-free-themed costumes to meet your needs:

BLOODY BIKER
When my friend Pawl crashed on his bike without a helmet a few years ago, he looked pretty scary. To recreate his look, you’ll need to paint an open wound on your forehead, draw a red trickle down your temple, and maybe squirt some fake blood in your hair. Add some road rash on your legs, put on your spandex, and voilà: You’re a frightening reminder to wear a helmet.

COMICAL CONES
Not THAT kind of cones! The sexy costume is below. I’m talking about traffic cones. When I was in college, I went to a Halloween party where a couple dressed as two big orange cones, and they won the “Funniest Costume” award. I think they made their costumes out of paperboard and orange paint. The largeness and brightness of their outfits added to the hilarity. You can get creative with reflective decals too. Wherever you go, you’ll stop traffic.

SEXY SUBWAY
Though I didn’t take the sexy route, I once dressed like my D.C. Metro stop. I painted the ubiquitous “M” logo on my shirt, along with a big green dot and “Columbia Heights.” Then, I hung a Metro “SmartCard” around my neck and wore a newspaper hat (because the D.C. Metro is full of discarded Express papers). It required a little explaining, but you can tailor it to your own subway system’s quirks and marketing scheme. Pair with a short skirt and some tall boots, and you’ve made public transportation sexy.

Anyone else have a cool (or scary or funny or sexy) car-free costume idea?

Car-freely,
Amy

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